Robot and Goat Haystack Prank

Create a native 18-second, vertical 9:16 real smartphone video: one continuous handheld take with no cuts, filmed by a farm owner standing in a goat pasture at golden hour. No reference image. No text, no captions, no logos, no subtitles. CORE RULES One continuous shot, real-time speed, no cuts, no slow motion. Only two characters are visible: one humanoid robot and one goat. The person filming is never visible, only heard. The robot does not move its feet except for exactly one calm sidestep at 12.0 seconds. The goat headbutts the robot from behind twice without any effect, then makes a huge run-up, the robot calmly steps aside at the last moment, and the goat flies past and dives head first into a big haystack, leaving only its back legs sticking out and kicking. The climax must be clear even with the sound off. Nobody is hurt: at the end the goat pops its head out of the hay, fine. Funny and absurd, not scary. CHARACTER ROBOT: an adult-size humanoid service robot, about 175 cm tall, glossy white arm and leg segments, a beige padded chest and torso panel, black joints, black five-fingered mechanical hands, no brand name and no text anywhere. Its head is a rounded glossy black helmet with a flat black glass face screen. On the screen, soft white LED lines form its expression: two round dot eyes and one thin mouth line. Exactly two arms and two legs. It stands in the centre of the frame, its body turned three quarters toward the LEFT and slightly toward the camera, bent forward from the hips over a low wooden board, calmly working, its back and rear facing the RIGHT side of the pasture. GOAT: an adult white goat with large beige patches on its neck and back, long floppy ears, golden-yellow eyes with horizontal pupils, a long white beard, curved horns, a stubborn, dramatic personality. Exactly four legs. OWNER (off-screen, voice only): a woman in her mid-twenties holding the phone. FACE Robot face screen: clean black glass, soft glowing white LED lines, simple and readable. Only these expressions, only when written: NEUTRAL (two round dots, flat line), BLINK (the dots close into short lines for a moment and open again), BORED (half-closed dots, flat line), CALM (dots, a tiny smile), SMUG (eyes as happy arcs, wide upward curved smile). Never text, numbers or symbols. Goat face: realistic goat anatomy, horizontal pupils, ears moving independently, beard swinging with movement. Its mouth stays closed the whole video. VOICE Owner: warm young adult female voice close to the phone mic, natural and unscripted: whispers at first, then real breathy laughter that becomes uncontrollable. The robot never speaks, only quiet servo whirs. The goat makes only hoof sounds, snorts and one short bleat at the end. CAMERA Vertical phone held at chest height about 4 metres from the robot, from the side, so the whole robot from head to feet, the low board, the haystack on the left and the pasture stretching far into the background on the right are all in frame. Main action stays in the centre and upper two thirds of the frame. CAMERA HAND The phone is in the owner's right hand. Her hands and arms never appear in frame. HANDHELD Natural small hand shake and breathing movement; a small flinch at each headbutt; a slight pan to the right following the goat's far walk between 8.5 and 10.0 seconds, then a pan back to the robot during the run; a strong shake when she laughs. No zoom jumps, no whip pans. LOOK Real modern smartphone video, golden hour exposure, mild grain in shadows, slight compression softness, true-to-life warm colours, a little lens flare from the low sun, no filters, no beauty smoothing. LIGHTING Low golden sun behind on the RIGHT, giving a warm glowing rim light on the goat's white fur and beard, on the robot's glossy white arms and on the top of the haystack. Soft warm fill from the bright orange sky. Low ground mist over the far pasture. The light stays the same for the whole video. VISUAL MATCH The image must look exactly like this: a casual phone video shot by a farm owner in her own goat pasture at golden hour, handheld at chest height, a warm orange sky, low mist over a wide green pasture, a weathered wooden fence along the far background, a big round golden haystack on the left, a white and beige robot with a black helmet in the centre, a glowing white and beige goat, light grain, no text on screen, one continuous take that feels unplanned and real. SETTING A family farm goat pasture in the evening: short green grass with patches of straw, a wide open field behind, a weathered wooden fence running along the far background. BACKGROUND Foreground: short grass and straw. Midground: the big round golden haystack on the LEFT, about 2 metres tall; directly in front of it a low wooden board, about 40 cm high, resting on two short tree stumps; the robot in the centre bent over the board. Background: the open pasture stretching far to the RIGHT, the weathered fence, a small red wooden shed far away, a line of trees in warm haze. The haystack is visible from the first frame. Distant movement only: the low mist drifting. The background never warps or shifts. MOTION The robot moves slowly and calmly with small mechanical pauses and quiet servo whirs, never glitching, never reacting to the hits with its body. The goat moves with real weight: hoof scraping, a short trot, a real galloping run-up with its legs moving in a natural goat gait, a jump and a dive. The order of movement is always eyes or screen first, then head, then shoulders. DEFECT PREVENTION Hands: the robot's RIGHT hand holds one small screwdriver in a fist grip the whole video and never lets go; from 0.0 to 12.0 seconds it slowly turns a screw in the board. The robot's LEFT hand presses flat on the board from 0.0 to 12.0 seconds, then hangs relaxed along its body. Five fingers per hand; fingers never merge with ea